He Will Be Missed

Around 2:15pm on Friday, I got the call. I was expecting it, anticipating it, really, but I don’t think anything can ever prepare you for hearing the words out loud.

The selfless part of me felt a bit of relief. He’s no longer in pain, no longer sleeping his days away in an unfamiliar nursing home, away from his wife and home, not feeling like himself.

The human part of me burst into tears.

My grandpa passed away.

I’m going to miss the stories he told, the letters he wrote me and spending time together. I’m going to miss the way he ended our goodbyes with “Grandpa loves you”- the same three words he left me with as I left the nursing home in tears, just one week ago.

Although I knew this was coming, I think part of me is still in disbelief. I don’t think it’ll sink in until I go back to Michigan and he’s not there.

I know he’s in a better place, free of all of his pain, but coping with things like this take time. When we left the nursing home last Saturday, he shook Jordan’s hand and said, “See you again real soon.” I know that he’s watching over us, and I believe, one day, years and years from now, we will see each other again.

I love you, Grandpa. You will be missed.

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  1. I’m so sorry for your loss, Emily. One of my grandpas passed away in the summer of 2008, and even though he had been plagued with heart problems for seven years and had basically withered away to nothing from January 2008 to when he died and I knew it was much better that he was no longer suffering, it still hurt to lose him. I’ll be praying for you and your family <3

  2. Emily I am sure your Grandpa is reading this in Heaven and has a smile on his face for the beautiful words you wrote. It will hurt for a while but in time the hurt will go away and you will have wonderful memories. – Love you, Aunt Betty

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. The tension between feeling relief and feeling heartbroken is definitely a normal one, but it does feel a little awkward trying to balance to the two of them. I felt very similarly when my grandma died in October. However, even when you know that suffering has ended, it’s still painful to have to lose the person you loved and cared about. Peace and strength to you and your family.

  4. I’m so sorry girl. I just lost my grandma to cancer less than 3 weeks ago. It doesn’t feel real. I don’t know if it will feel real anytime soon. It’s hard, regardless of whether or not you expect it. Keep your chin up. Things will get better. He’s watching over you now, always and forever present in your heart. :)

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