I am proud to be me

When I’m in a new environment, with new people (for instance, at my new job), I get nervous. When I get nervous, I get shy. If I don’t have the chance to speak with a person one on one, I don’t open up. If I don’t open up,  I don’t really feel like myself, and then I just feel like I’m putting on an act. I don’t open up because I care too much about what other people think- I know this. But sometimes, I get tired of being that person. Sometimes I want to be that outgoing bubbly girl that doesn’t care what other people think. That isn’t a perfectionist. That isn’t a control freak.

The thing is, I am not that girl. But, I know that I am more than a girl who puts up walls and pretends to be someone she’s not. I am learning that making myself vulnerable may not be a bad thing. So… this is why I’m proud to be me… this is me revealing my flaws, my quirks, and…a lot of other random stuff:

My first name is Emily, my middle name, Erin.

I write and eat left-handed. I do a lot of other things with my right.

I have a birthmark that covers the left side of my stomach. Sometimes I’m self-conscious in my bathing suit because of it.

I really like to read- mainly ‘girly’ books that I don’t have to think too much about, or something from the inspirational/motivational/self-help section.

I watch too much reality TV. Mainly on TLC, HGTV, and the Food Network.

I never drank at college parties- I preferred to be in control of my body.

I didn’t have my first alcoholic drink until my 22nd birthday, for no reason other than it didn’t appeal to me.  Today, the taste of beer has grown on me, although I still don’t know what other people claimed I was missing.

I like Taylor Swift. And the Jonas Brothers. I’ve been to both of their concerts.

Taylor Swift ’09

Although I can be quiet, I like attention.

Cardio is my drug of choice.

Gym time

Chocolate is a close second. I also like green tea. And oatmeal. I could live on chocolate and oatmeal and green tea alone.

Hollister and Abercrombie salespersons make me feel self-conscious. As in, not pretty enough.

I’m close to my family. I cried when we dropped my youngest sister off at college last weekend.

I like Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson….and Hanson.

I feel the prettiest…. when I’m done working out, when I’m given a hug, when I’m volunteering, when I have a tan, when I’ve accomplished something great.

Sometimes I feel like blog friends understand me better than real life friends.

I’ve only told one boy that I love him. I tell him everyday.

I require a lot of sleep. I don’t like to talk in the morning. I’m grumpy after a long day. I tend to be moody.

I danced for over 15 years. I really miss it.

Coffee makes me feel shaky, but since I like the taste, I sometimes drink it anyway.

I’m don’t call myself a vegetarian, but I rarely eat meat.

Sometimes I resent being the oldest child. I wish I could have learned from an older sibling’s mistakes.

I used to be afraid of death. Until I watched my grandpa as he was passing. It’s not as scary once you look it in the eye.

As much as I complained about homework, I miss school. I will probably go back someday. I like learning.

I don’t like… scary TV shows, scary movies, the dark, loud noises, bugs, onions, camping in tents, the elliptical…

I do like… the color pink, cozy blankets, ballet flats, Audrey Hepburn, ballroom dancing, baking, Nike tempo shorts, the ArcTrainer, the smell of hardware stores…

And that is all. For now.

What makes you proud to be you?

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5 Responses to I am proud to be me

  1. Beautiful, beautiful post Emily! Wow, I can relate to you so much! We really are blog twins.

    I, too, am a naturally more reserved person when I’m with new people. I have come a hugely long way and am way more ‘out of my shell’ than I used to be, but I am already feeling anxious about starting my job and not opening up enough.

    I think people like us have unique & special traits that extroverts don’t have! I think we tend to be more thoughtful, considerate, introspective, and better at listening… but that’s just my opinion ;)

    Anddd I can relate to so many of your facts- love them!

  2. Dude. Why are we the same person? Seriously. First paragraph=me, completely.

    I love this post, though. I feel you so, so much on wanting to be that outgoing, bubbly girl. Seriously, there’s so much I would give to be that person. But I’m not, and that’s okay, and I love that you are so willing to point that out. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself in this post!

    (P.S. I love the JoBros. I went to the Best of Both Worlds tour in 2007 and it was one of the funnest [is that a word?] nights of my life to date)

    • :) …Thank you…I love that you can relate! I’ve come to the realization that we can’t all be that outgoing talkative girl because then this world would be really loud!! And yay for Jo Bro’s concerts :) …I had so much fun at the one I went to, as well!

  3. SO much in common!! Even down to the caffiene shakes!

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