My sophomore year of college I had a professor tell me that much of the five years after graduation would be spent at engagement parties, wedding showers, weddings, and other celebrations of the like. Even though I haven’t even attended my commencement ceremony yet, I know that my professor was right.
I’m in two weddings in October, one weekend separating the two. The first is my cousin’s, the second, my friend’s. Last summer I attended my college suitemate’s wedding, and recently I have been having lots of “We’ve talked about getting married!…” conversations with my close girlfriends. Everyday a new “engaged” relationship status pops up on Facebook, and I’ve been getting wedding dress flyers in the mail (I may or may not have signed up for a “wedding dress giveaway” from Alfred Angelo- don’t judge). Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled for all of my engaged friends and family. But, while I love wedding planning just as much as the next girl, I am feeling the pressure to plan my own.
This isn’t something I was going to talk about on the blog, but I feel that every girl has an opinion (or helpful advice, maybe ) on the topic. The exciting, but sometimes scary, “getting married” topic.
Here’s the thing- I thought I was ready. In November, Jordan and I looked at rings. We looked at rings, and I narrowed down my favorites. I told him he could “pop the question” when he was ready. He gave me a practical response, telling me that he needed to pay off a good chunk of his student loan debt first. I, at the time, was bummed by his practicality (perhaps one sign that I was not ready).
Then those feelings changed. The closer to graduation I was, the closer to being in the “real world” I became. I had another conversation with him, telling him that I’d like to wait until I finished school. Then, without a lead on a job or a reliable source of income, I became the practical one. I began using the word “budget”; I began researching the cost of rental properties; I began discussing joint bank accounts and commuting distances. I kind of took the fun and romance out of (the idea of) getting engaged, and turned it into a chore. And then it wasn’t so appealing anymore.
I love Jordan, I do. And I have to wonder, will I ever be 100% financially, emotionally, and mentally ready? I don’t even pay my own bills yet. I don’t even have a job yet. And I have student loans. Lots of student loans. How do you know when you’re ready? Are you ever completely ready for anything in life?
Nothing is as simple as the “Check Yes or No” days anymore. But maybe this is a part of growing up. Maybe this is a part of embracing change.
When do you know that you’re ready to commit your life to someone you love, your best friend, for forever?
It’s one of those things that I’m figuring out as I grow up. Maybe you’re never 100% ready for anything. Maybe you just have to give it time. Or maybe you have to take a leap of faith.
I do know one thing. When it does happen, he will be there to catch me, to embrace the change with me.
Do you ever feel the pressure?
If you are engaged or married, how did you know when you were ready (financially, emotionally, mentally)?