The One That Marks the End

I cannot write this post without tears in my eyes. I feel silly admitting that, but this blog has been a part of my life for the past five and half years. I have gone from a single college girl to a married mommy. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that this post has been a long time coming.

Last month, I randomly committed to writing two posts a week in June. And a few days later, that was enough to make me realize that I don’t want to commit anymore. 

This blog doesn’t fulfill me the way that it used to. I haven’t identified with the name for a long time; I have a lot of ideas in my head but can never get pen to paper (or you know, whatever the equivalent is on the computer); and I feel like I’m enjoying “real life” too much to stop and record everything.

When I told Jordan it was time for me to end my blog, he encouraged me not to. I’m still making a tiny bit of income from it, and he couldn’t understand why I’d want to give that up. But when I considered all of the reasons for staying, I just couldn’t justify a tiny bit of income and some free products that I’d get to review. I am so grateful for all of the opportunities I have had because of this space, but sticking around for those things would not make me genuine.

I had a goal to stick it out until Amelia’s first birthday, but my domain name is up sooner than I thought, and it doesn’t make sense to renew it for another year if my heart isn’t in it. 

I don’t want this to be goodbye. I have made so many wonderful friendships through this space, and I’m still active on social media — Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook, mainly. 

Someday, I might return to blogging — with a name that fits my current season of life, perhaps on a free platform where I don’t feel as obligated. But for now, I have to say “see you later.”

Thank you for following me, thank you for your continued support, and thank you for being here for me as I grew up.

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Amelia Grace: Nine Months Old

At nine months, Amelia is turning into quite the little person — she’s sweet, sensitive, super stubborn, and constantly keeping me on my toes!

nine months_6_edited

Length: 27.75 inches (56%ile) Weight: 17 lbs. (31%ile) Head: 17 inches (55%ile)

She’s wearing size 2 diapers, and a mix of 3-6 month and 6-9 month clothing.

Likes:

  • Being outside
  • Going for walks in the stroller
  • Playing with other babies and kids
  • Animals
  • Story time
  • Chewing on everything
  • “Popsicles” (aka a mesh feeder filled with ice cubes)
  • Crawling around the house
  • Reading books
  • Climbing on the furniture
  • Swinging in the baby swing outside

Dislikes:

  • Getting ready for/going to bed
  • Getting dressed
  • Having her diaper changed
  • Loud noises (the blow dryer, vacuum, blender, etc.)
  • Being held by unfamiliar people
  • When Mommy or Daddy leave the room
  • The feeling of grass (evidence below)

nine months_2_edited

What a month it has been. The biggest challenge has been sleep. Our sweet baby, who previously slept through the night, suddenly refused to sleep at nighttime. I feel like I need to apologize to any bed-sharing parent I’ve ever questioned, because this month we threw safety out the window and tried it all. The nighttime wake-ups are due to multiple things — teething, a new nap schedule and a lot of separation anxiety — and we’ve finally gotten to a point where it’s getting better. She was screaming as we put her down to sleep and screaming every hour or two after that, which left me feeling sad and defeated. So, she’d usually end up sleeping on my chest in my bed. She’d fall asleep immediately that way, and we were all tired, so it worked. We tried putting the pack n’ play in our room also, to see if having us closer would help, but it didn’t help enough to make it a habit. This week, we’ve resorted to letting her cry it out a little bit. After two nights of that, she’s sleeping in her crib again (not without a few cuddles with mama in the rocking chair if/when she does wake up, though — I can’t stand the CIO method), but we’re still taking it one night at a time. It’s just a phase, and I know I’ll look back and miss all of the cuddles! 

Funny enough, despite the nighttime troubles, naps have been great. She’s now taking two long naps, usually around 1.5 to 2.5 hours each. We made this switch as soon as she turned 8 months old, kind of by accident because she missed her second nap one day and I realized she didn’t need it anymore. She’s drinking four bottles, and eating two “meals” a day, in the form of purees. We’ve tried giving her finger foods, but she has little interest and would rather be spoon fed.  This is what a typical day for Amelia looks like:

6:30 am: Wake-up/cuddles

7 am: Bottle/play time

8 am: Breakfast (usually a fruit and healthy fat)/listen to music/read books and get ready for a nap

8:30 am: First nap

10:30 am: Bottle

10:45 am: Run errands/go for a walk/play 

1 pm: Bottle/read books and get ready for a nap

1:30 pm: Second nap

3:30 pm: “Dinner” (usually a vegetable or two)/listen to music

4 pm: Go for a walk/play outside/playtime with Daddy

5  pm: Bottle/get ready for bed/read books

6 pm: Bedtime

Amelia can say two words/phrases now — “mama” and “I love you.” I know that sounds crazy, but both my mom and sister have witnessed it. She also likes mimicking us when we make the blowing bubbles sound with our lips. She is crawling up a storm and standing up on all of the furniture. I can’t leave the room or turn my back when she’s awake, and I no longer have the privilege of going to the bathroom by myself (ha!). She is my little shadow, and as tiring as it can be some days, I love it. 

Mommy/Daddy Update

It’s funny for me to look back and think about how nervous I used to get taking Amelia places, because now she’s my little sidekick. From a bridal shower to a funeral, to getting my eyebrows waxed, she joins me. Going down to two naps has given us a lot of freedom, because I know I’ll have a good three hour chunk of time to run errands and get out of the house. It also helps that she doesn’t mind the car now and can entertain herself with her pacis and teethers.

Early this month, I joined a Strollfit class through Baby Boot Camp, which has been great for us. I really missed taking classes at the gym, and it’s been a good way for me to get out of the house and work out without having to worry about childcare. Amelia likes it too, and has fun chasing around the other babies after class. We also go to story time at the library, and were recently invited to join a local playgroup. Having that circle of stay (or work)-at-home moms is beneficial, even if we only see them once a week at classes. 

As far as Jordan goes, he’s starting to create a little routine with Amelia that allows him to see her for more than a few minutes a day. She cuddles with him in the morning and “helps” him in the kitchen while he makes his coffee, and then after work he usually feeds her a bottle and plays with her while I get dinner ready. He’s been able to get home earlier from work also, which has been great since she goes to bed so early. 

I’m really excited to enjoy the summer with Amelia, and see how she continues to grow. I can’t believe that I’m already thinking about her first birthday!

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Two Days a Week

quiet morning at home

Baby bump flashback

It’s almost been a month since I’ve blogged! I have a goal for myself: blog two days a week in the month of June. I just wrote up Amelia’s nine month update (it’ll be up tomorrow), and it made me realize how much I miss blogging for fun. I’m still debating whether or not to end my blog, and I think having this goal will help me decide if I should or not. So…I will see you in June (and tomorrow too)! 

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Where Do I Go from Here?

mama and baby_6 months old

 

Yesterday, I got an email saying that my domain name expires in 59 days. I have some decisions to make.

I have been blogging for 5 1/2 years now. 5 1/2 years. I’ve written in this space through college, graduation, career changes, my engagement, marriage, pregnancy, childbirth, and now parenthood. Along the way my readers have experienced so much with me — surgeries, deaths, celebrations, ups, downs and everything in between.  

Some of the the things that I have posted in this space make me cringe. I used this space as a journal for a long time, and wrote about a lot of nothing. But I’ve also shared things very, very close to my heart — like when I found out I was pregnant, and the birth of my baby girl.

I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m not sure where this blog fits into my life anymore.

I have a part-time job, I’m a full-time mom, and of course, I need to give attention to my husband and house too. Sometimes, the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is open my computer. I have all of these ideas swirling around in my head, and most of the time, I end up sharing them on Instagram instead — because, well, I can do it in an instant.

And then there’s the issue of privacy. Do I want my child’s future employee to google their name and come up with my blog? Do they really need to see what she was doing during infancy and childhood? Or worse, do they need to see what her mom was doing during college and her first years of marriage? 

I’m not sure that I’m ready to cut the ties just yet. I think that it will be sad, no matter when I choose to do it.

Until then, I’ll be here.

Sometimes.

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Amelia Grace: Eight Months Old

How do I describe how quickly time is flying? I feel like I’m on a treadmill that is going too fast and I can’t keep up, yet there are no buttons to slow it down or stop it!

8 months_cutie_edited

Amelia’s next doctor’s appointment is a month away, so I’m not sure of her measurements, but she’s mainly wearing 6-9 month clothing, some 3-6 month clothing, and size 2 diapers. 

Likes:

  • Being outside
  • Crawling everywhere
  • Swinging in the hammock swing with Mommy
  • When Daddy gets home from work
  • Jumping in the Jumperoo
  • Going for walks
  • Story time
  • Chewing on everything
  • Reading books

Dislikes:

  • Being tired
  • Getting ready for/going to bed
  • Sitting still
  • Loud noises
  • Unfamiliar people
  • Getting dressed/having her diaper changed

Places she visited:

  • Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia and Florida
  • Disney World!
  • Costco
  • The park
  • Michael’s
  • The usuals (Target, church, the library)

8 months_crawling_edited

Amelia does not sit still. We completely skipped the “sitting up nicely and playing with toys” stage that so many people told me about, and went straight to crawling. She’s been crawling for a month and a half now, and I have a feeling that she’s not too far from walking. She’s pulled herself up to a standing position one time, and has been trying so hard to do it again. We have baby proofed a good portion of our house, but I can’t leave her alone in a room — she goes straight to the outlet covers, laptop cords, TV stand, etc. Basically, anything that’s not a toy or book ;).

Sleep is hit or miss right now. If you’d asked me three days ago how it was going, I’d say great. For the past few months (once her bottom teeth were through), she’s been sleeping 12 hours at night consistently, going down around 6 pm and waking up around 6 am. But the past two nights have been interesting. She’s waking up in sad, sad tears every couple of hours, and only wants to sleep on me or near me. She’s going through the 6th leap (according to the The Wonder Weeks app) and teething, so I’m guessing it’s a combination of pain and nighttime separation anxiety? She sleeps perfectly fine once she’s on my chest, so even though it’s not ideal, we’ve slept like that off and on the past two nights. Thankfully, she sleeps fine in her crib during naps. She’s still taking three naps a day, with 2 – 3 hours of awake time between each one. 

Food-wise, Amelia’s drinking four bottles a day, and has now graduated to two “meals” a day, at breakfast and at dinner. We’re still doing purees. I’ve tried giving her finger foods (avocado and banana) a couple of times, and all she does is squish it in her hand, look at it, and throw it on the floor or put it in the pocket of her bib, ha! She’s not a big eater, and I’ve thrown away quite a bit of her leftover purees. But food before one is just for fun, right? That’s what I tell myself! 

She can now get herself into a seated position on her own, babbles and squeals frequently, and is less apprehensive with new people who hold her, unless she’s overly tired. 

Mommy/Daddy Update

We threw our first party for Amelia over the weekend and I think it was the first time I’ve really felt like a parent. She was baptized on Sunday, and we hosted a brunch at our house afterwards. I did have help with the food (thanks to my mom, mother-in-law and sister!), but it felt like such an adult thing to do, to throw a party for our daughter. Is it funny that I feel that way at 27?  

At eight months postpartum, I’ve been thinking more and more about my birth experience. It was such a special time for me, but there are a couple of things that really bothered me. I used to feel guilty for being bothered, since the baby and I are both healthy, but after watching ‘The Business of Being Born’ on Netflix and listening to ‘The Birth Hour’ podcast, I feel like my concerns are justified. It just makes me think about what I’d like in the future! 

This next month will bring Mother’s Day, and hopefully more beautiful weather and time spent outside!

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